'When All Else Fails'When All Else Fails
"What should I do when I have tried almost everything? I can think o fevery thought, every idea and nothing seems to work. There is one thing I have not tried and that is lying or telling stories about how I feel. If I did, maybe then you would want to listen to me about how I feel. But I can't, I won't and I probably never will. So when all else fails, at least I can say I never lied to you. I know it's hard for us (well, for me anyways, because I'm so emotional, or let's just say I'm a simple man with feelings).
I care for you all: the females and playaz lost without a clue. There must be something holding me back, pulling my heart from a cold world or pulling you away from me. But I continue to care for this world anyways. 'When all else has failed', when separate paths have been taken, when I can no longer cry and all my tears have dried, I can still find the strength to touch life.
I am at peace knowing I have tried and I am the voice that has cried out about the "whole of my people". The low income wages and jobs where my people are over-worked, under-paid and unappreciated, but who still feel blessed to have survived the "struggle" for their families.
These eyes still envision the crack-corners, project buildings, alleyways and street-life junkies doing what they do. Dope fiend excuses are useless, except to provide prison and escape from reality. But our responsibility remains to be "men" for our women and fathers for our children.
But I realize, "I am my own worst enemy". I was and have been (and still maybe) lost. As I walk, I realize someone must be with me, but who? Whoever it was, had to have carried me a few miles into life, because I wear shoes and his feet were bare. So my prayers were heard throughout the city blocks…different sets, hoods, and ghettoes.
In these places, our children out grow the mature adult. They embrace fear and respect, or accept the grim realities of dying, even before they learn what it is to live. So they are "gangstas". I am a 'disciple,' disciplined inside to follow what life teaches the lost. I have become a leader, called upon to lead and not mislead, because I too was once misled.
I'm telling you all of this, because I know where most of our younger generation is heading ... without love , comfort, strength and support to guide them.. I have been there, for I am them back then, just as they are me now. This road leads to "prison" the "brink of death". Destination: "destruction. So I ask my folks to grow with me.
I make the commitment to grow into a better man, better father, with a stronger mind. Reaching out for a better life and a new "positive development" ."I am growth and development" when all else fails.
By: Tear Drop
R. W. F.2006
Tear Drop is a young black man, presently incarcerated in the USP system.